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Friday, 25 March 2011

Wait for me, time...

Now that i am a wife and a mother AND a woman trying to establish a career, time is too fast for me. Each time i sit down and blog, i find that there are too many things going on in my life that my fingers hardly find anytime to type in this space.

Being a mother is a real roller coaster ride. There are good times and there are "self-pity" mode. Filtering is important before the self-pity thoughts destroy the joy of my motherhood.

Today i felt like i am worst than a maid. A maid has day off, and i don't even get day off. I am very sick these few days and still i can't have sick leave.

Today i thought : one child is enough as i don't think i can cope with another one. A lot of times, i feel i am a single parent. After spending time with Isaac the whole day. Just when i thought my son is asleep at 730pm, that i can get a break and rest, my next role take over: i have to accomodate/serve my husband.

I am trying very hard to find my own space. When i sit down and think, now my son is asleep and my husband is busy with his own work, where is irene? Where is ME? What is ME? Apart from a wife and a mother, what am i?

Of course, not everyday of my life i feel this way. Today is one of those days... and i know i am alright as life is a journey... and i have still a long way to go...

1 comment:

  1. shyan yih4:29 am

    yup, we all go through that.....hmmm....but then again, some mothers don't. i know i do go through that on and off and then people will just tell me to snap out of it :( so sad huh, just snap out of it. they say,'become mother like that wan mah'....very helpful :p
    i know of ladies who are like the both of us and also those who are not like us and just hand the child over to the maid day and night and goes off on a girlfriend trip for a whole month in some other country while the 3 year old son just stay with the maid 24/7 for a whole month.
    luxury man.......

    ReplyDelete

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