Saturday, 19 June 2010

preaching course

This week has been the most unique week for me since i gave birth to Isaac ( i mean, besides giving birth to Isaac), i am attending one week part-time theology course on preaching which runs on Monday, Wednesday, Friday night: 6.30pm - 10pm and Saturday 10-6pm.

Initially i thought Saturday is not possible for me because i don't think i can find a babysitter for Isaac. Then, a friend of mine called me and volunteered to look after Isaac for me. I am so thankful!

This is the first time Isaac has a babysitter, hope he doesn't bully my friend.

It's interesting to be a student. For that few hours, i forgot that i am actually a mother! Ha.

I am scheduled to preach on 17th October. Panic mood...

Wednesday, 16 June 2010

status update

i am currently attending one week course on preaching, monday, wednesday, friday night and whole day Saturday.

It's interesting to be a student.

I've been reminded that preaching is about godly character, and not just about talk. My character and intimate relationship with God decides everything. My destiny depends on it.

A very touching sharing on the love of marriage


i thought of giving up blogging, but when i look at my first entry, it was in 2002. Though i may not be consistently writing, but this blog has served as a documentary of a big part of me. 

Sometimes i wished i had 1000 readers a day and probably earn big bucks on what i read. 

But for now, i enjoy my little corner, with a few friends reading this and i can really be truthful to myself and have a dialogue with myself. 

I didn't have the heart to wipe out all my 8 years of blog entries. For that, i told myself i have to continue writing, for myself,  and maybe for my son. 

my journey

what is my career? my career is a full time mom. Isaac is now 7 months. I quit my job on 31st January 2009 as Albert and I decided to move to Hong Kong. We are tired of the life in UK. We don't really like the isolated lifestyle in UK. We like to be around with family and friends. 

Friends are more accessible in south east asia. We travelled to Iceland with Angus and Rachel in February. We also put our house in the property market. We planned to sell our house and study full time theology in Hong Kong.

During first week of March 2009 , we attended mission conference. My stomach felt funny. I thought my gastric was back.

One week prior to the conference, i felt funny and tested for pregnancy at home. Negative.
I booked an appointment with the GP, she said most unlikely i was pregnant.

Our commitment were 3 years theology degree in Hong kong. It's either i get pregnant now, or after 3 years, i thought to myself.

God knew my thoughts. I was surprised with the arrival of Isaac.

Besides that, it was clearly God's way of guiding us. Hong Kong is not where He is leading us at this point. So , we stay put in London.

Since i quit my job way before i found i was pregnant, i lost all the maternity benefit of NHS, including flexible working hours after maternity leave.

So now my career is a full time mother.

I am not going to pretend to say that i love every minute of my new career and i am so in love with this career that i can do this forever.

i shed so much tears and had so much frustration.

Since we were not returning to Hong Kong, Albert started his first year theology in London, yes, as a student full time.

I was so bitter with my new career. Here i was , "stuck" with my never ending, no annual leave no sick leave career, while Albert gets to go to his college, hang out with his new friends, get intellectually stimulated, come home and get served by me, and get to complain about how untidy the house is.

I was tired, frustrated. I need to take care of my son, and i need to serve my husband and satisfy his obsession on cleanliness and tidiness. PLUS i need to cook.

I put isaac to bed at 7.30pm, and i had to cook, while Albert chill out after his whole day of hard work in school. At. 8.30 pm, i finished cooking and we had dinner at about 9pm.  I washed the dishes while Albert goes back to his study room and continue with his revision/assignment/essay.

I knew i needed to go to bed at 10pm, but i felt i didn't have my own time and entertainment. The house chores are all the things i NEEDED to do, i hate doing them and i never enjoy doing them.

Only at 10pm, i do the things that i enjoy doing: watching drama or some entertaining comedy. I was tired physically but emotionally and mentally i wasn't. I wanted something that make me happy or cheer me up.

As a result, i always sleep late, 1 am is my usual sleeping time. i knew i would be tired the next day, but i  was willing to bear with it. Isaac is the most accurate alarm clock in the whole, he wakes up at 6 am.

For some reason, even though i was tired, i couldn't have day time nap when isaac has his nap. I find it difficult to fall asleep during the day.

So i have been having this kind of lifestyle for the past 7 months.

I don't know what to say and i really don't know what my next step is. I really want to spend time with isaac until he is 2.5 or 3 years old. I want to teach him to read, tell him about Jesus.

I don't mind being a mom, i just hate tidying and cleaning, washing and cooking.
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