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Wednesday, 16 June 2010

my journey

what is my career? my career is a full time mom. Isaac is now 7 months. I quit my job on 31st January 2009 as Albert and I decided to move to Hong Kong. We are tired of the life in UK. We don't really like the isolated lifestyle in UK. We like to be around with family and friends. 

Friends are more accessible in south east asia. We travelled to Iceland with Angus and Rachel in February. We also put our house in the property market. We planned to sell our house and study full time theology in Hong Kong.

During first week of March 2009 , we attended mission conference. My stomach felt funny. I thought my gastric was back.

One week prior to the conference, i felt funny and tested for pregnancy at home. Negative.
I booked an appointment with the GP, she said most unlikely i was pregnant.

Our commitment were 3 years theology degree in Hong kong. It's either i get pregnant now, or after 3 years, i thought to myself.

God knew my thoughts. I was surprised with the arrival of Isaac.

Besides that, it was clearly God's way of guiding us. Hong Kong is not where He is leading us at this point. So , we stay put in London.

Since i quit my job way before i found i was pregnant, i lost all the maternity benefit of NHS, including flexible working hours after maternity leave.

So now my career is a full time mother.

I am not going to pretend to say that i love every minute of my new career and i am so in love with this career that i can do this forever.

i shed so much tears and had so much frustration.

Since we were not returning to Hong Kong, Albert started his first year theology in London, yes, as a student full time.

I was so bitter with my new career. Here i was , "stuck" with my never ending, no annual leave no sick leave career, while Albert gets to go to his college, hang out with his new friends, get intellectually stimulated, come home and get served by me, and get to complain about how untidy the house is.

I was tired, frustrated. I need to take care of my son, and i need to serve my husband and satisfy his obsession on cleanliness and tidiness. PLUS i need to cook.

I put isaac to bed at 7.30pm, and i had to cook, while Albert chill out after his whole day of hard work in school. At. 8.30 pm, i finished cooking and we had dinner at about 9pm.  I washed the dishes while Albert goes back to his study room and continue with his revision/assignment/essay.

I knew i needed to go to bed at 10pm, but i felt i didn't have my own time and entertainment. The house chores are all the things i NEEDED to do, i hate doing them and i never enjoy doing them.

Only at 10pm, i do the things that i enjoy doing: watching drama or some entertaining comedy. I was tired physically but emotionally and mentally i wasn't. I wanted something that make me happy or cheer me up.

As a result, i always sleep late, 1 am is my usual sleeping time. i knew i would be tired the next day, but i  was willing to bear with it. Isaac is the most accurate alarm clock in the whole, he wakes up at 6 am.

For some reason, even though i was tired, i couldn't have day time nap when isaac has his nap. I find it difficult to fall asleep during the day.

So i have been having this kind of lifestyle for the past 7 months.

I don't know what to say and i really don't know what my next step is. I really want to spend time with isaac until he is 2.5 or 3 years old. I want to teach him to read, tell him about Jesus.

I don't mind being a mom, i just hate tidying and cleaning, washing and cooking.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:40 pm

    Hey babe, hang in there. Trust in Him. Being a full time mum is a noble career.

    Xin

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:35 am

    Hi Irene,

    Any thought of hiring a helper?? Even a part-time one....

    ReplyDelete

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