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Wednesday, 11 February 2009

My resignation 31st of January

The day i have been counting down since 3 months ago ( 3 months notice is my organisation policy)is finally here.

I went to work and started clearing my desk. Embarassingly, i filled the whole blue IKEA bag with my things, mostly food and utensils to hold food. Albert has very intelligently asked me to bring the BIG ikea bag as he has better space dimensions than me as opposed to the small bag that i brought, thinking it was enough.

Albert drove the whole big heavy bag home at 11 .30 am so i didn't have to carry home with public transport.

The rest of the afternoon was spent making a card with a photo of me and that individual with my personalised message. In all of them , i thanked them for the great working relationship. I also apologised to them for my shortcomings, my inpatience of wanting things get done and neglecting their feelings in the process.
a glimpse of my animated colleague

Last but not least, i wrote to my manager. I thanked him for taking me in and selecting me in the interview, giving my opportunities to grow and be innovative in my work, giving me space to use my creativity in streamlining the task. In all honesty, my manager is a kind man, just not a tough manager. I also apologised to him and thanked him for putting up with me, with my immaturity and also for the difference in my opinion.

After writing all those card, i felt a sense of heaviness. Although the job itself is very beauracratic,we are a small team and we have very close relationship.

When the whole team came round and presented the gift for my farewell, i burst into tears.I was uncontrollable. I couldn't say anything. I was emotional. Aiks! this wasn't what i wanted it to be. I had prepared my speech and i even wanted to crack some silly jokes. At that moment, i spaced out! i just looked at them and said it has been great working with them and i cried...

ARGH! i was just overwhelmed. The gifts were generous.

I had some one to one handover time with my manager, exit interview. So we had some reflection etcc... My manager is just so kind. He is learning in his management style. He fedback that he read what i wrote in my card about thanking me of putting up with him. He then said,

" i don't think i have put up with you irene, it's you who have put up with me. I know i'm not perfect." After saying that, my manager teared!

AW... he is so nice. He then recalled that the room was the same room where i visited that place for an informal chat with him about the job before i went there for interview.

Both of us were emotional.

That's not how i expected my last day to be. I was just so sad and heavy to leave my colleagues, my familiar desk, that familiar door, kitchen when we want to chat on something private, that familiar route that i took from the bus stop to work place, the chat i have with my colleagues. I even asked my colleague to video us during the gift presentation but didn't manage to do it!

It was 5 pm, i then stayed back to forward emails and handover.

I was one of the two last people who left the building at 7.30pm.

I cried on my way home in the bus. As much as i hate my job, i have become so attached to it. Suddenly i felt this big part of me has left me and i become uncomfortable to it.

It has been a great 3 years. Lots of the GPs that i worked with wished me well, which made me feel good that my hardwork and support to them were being appreciated.

great memories ... but i have to move on...

i think i will cry more when i am finally leaving London in june...

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