Thursday, 24 July 2008

When you no longer believe in your job

Pharmacist, medical doctor those are the two professions that i believe will make a difference. Only the sick need doctors. Healthy people will tend to focus on making their living and earning money. When they are sick, they will find doctors or go to pharmacy to buy medicine.
I worked in hospital for 3 years, but i had minimal interaction with patient. I was behind the counter, preparing and checking the medicine. I was in a medicine storage room, reading and checking patient drug charts. I read about patients but i didn't have much interaction. Needless to say, i didn't have that satisfaction when they were discharged from hospital.
Also, i couldnt stand on-call, picking up pieces and rushing into hospital to open up the pharmacy because some nurses forgot to order medicine when pharmacy was opened from 9-5pm.
On that note, i move to primary care. I have a desk and my own computer. I manage and plan my own work load and i have my own phone. I like it. I have flexible working hours and i can have tea whenever i like. Back in hospital days, i only get to drink at a fixed 15 minutes coffee break. I enjoy such flexibililty and "facilities" .
But i can't see what i am doing make a difference to patient care. I am after policies, procedures and guidelines. Although in the grand scheme of things, sitting here and "planning" for the general population will eventually benefit the population by promoting health or hacving new services.
I prefer to be the receiving end. I prefer to be at the operational field, able to reap and share the joy or sorrow of the sick.
I no longer believe in my job,  i no longer believe that i am making a difference to the sick.
I need to look for something, something that i am passionate about, something that i believe will make a difference in other peoples' lives.
Health care is huge, i need not sit here and continue working when my heart do not resonate with the things i preach to my GPs.

May the Lord bless and keep you

Irene Tan
"You have made known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasure at your right hand"Psalm 16:11

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