Thursday, 22 May 2008

When do you really know

I have been away from 7th May to 20th May. I was in between Hong kong for few days and then in Kuala Lumpur for 1 week.
I need a holiday from that holiday.
I am feeling very down and very frustrated.I think too much because i want to achieve more.
My photographer brother broke his collar bone, so had operation to place a metal and screw to hold the bone again. His daughter, my favourite niece had fever during the few days when my brother was in and out of the hospital.
My holiday was very occupied and tiring.
My mum and sister-in-law were kind enough to drive me around to get my stuff for my hair styling course starting this coming Saturday.
I have also learnt the basics of jewellery making using swaorski crystal beads and others to make earrings, bracelets and necklace.
Art gives me satisfaction that my job can't. But i need the money to subsidise for my art.
Touched down London at 5.30 am and started work in the office at 9.30am
Today is the second day since my "holiday". I am feeling very down. I struggle with my job. I am very unsatisfied with the things are being handled at work place. Not liking the nature of my job doesn't help much either.
Career change is a big thing. I can't have the same pay and yet able to do something different. To explore something different is to take risk of a pay cut.
Plus, i need to persevere because i am a slave to my Permanent resident. I promised myself, once i get my PR, i will quit.
There is nothing wrong with my job. I think it's just plain that this job doesn't suit my personality. I am a people person and i am in a bureacratic paper important job.
Of course i know that the ideal picture is to venture into something that i enjoy on top of able to put bread on the table. B
The climate of recession now is pulling me to the direction of earning more and more money. I know money is not everything. Deep down i know riches is not the answer.
I want to be able to provide. Yet i know my Father is the ultimate provider.
When do you really know you should take the plunge and risk everything to find your passion?

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