Friday, 4 April 2008

God of storm

Some days i just feel like screaming. I can't put my finger on some particular issue that frustrates me, but i know that i am not at peace inside me.

I think schools should teach emotional management as one of the subjects. In fact if the school only need to have one subject, they should only have this. Although some may ague that how can this become a subject and study like science and maths. The irony is that emotional management is not meant to be transmitted, like how you transmit knowledge in school. It should be mentored. Maybe people share about what frustrates them in the week, and what made them angry. What did they do in response to the anger or frustration. All members of the group can reflect together, and analyse and discuss what other options are available and what thinking or underlying values were embeded in their bahaviour.

You think it's too early to teach the kids in primary school? I doubt that, as the kids in primary school are capable of emotions and disruptive behaviour. I think that's where it goes wrong. As i wrote before in my previous entry, we are cloning big headed human beings, with no heart, no integrity or inability to handle/deal with stress or anger. Then you end up with A can't get along with B and B shouting to A at work etc..

In general, woman are better at expressing their emotions and feelings than men. Note, i said, in general. My Vikipedia friend (nickname i got for him) said talking solves all the problem for woman. I agree with him. As for man, it's a little bit tricky. Illustration that i will use is this :

a 2 year old boy cries and throws tandrum. A mother will usually guess that maybe because he is sleepy hence the mood swings etc. What you won't find is a boy that age going to his mum saying: " ma, i am sleepy".

That's the same with our relationship with others. British and hong kong people are different from Malaysian in the sense that they communicate like Japanese. But in the scale or relativity, Japanese are the most most most subtle people on earth, when it comes to conversations. I am very different, i say what i feel and what i think. People may think i am blunt etc.. but i am honest, what you see is what you get. I don't cut corners and i don't beat round the bush. Maybe now that i've grown up, i need to learn how to coat them with honey. This is the world we live in.

Coming back to this subtle and underlying needs, i realise i have to be sensitive towards the underlying needs beneath the behaviour or emotional response. Those are just symptoms of an underlying pain. That helps me to be more understanding and forgiving. Just like the mum will probably put his boy to sleep rather than beating him upu for throwing tandrum.

I am beginning to learn more and more about this. If you ask me why marry? I think the lesson i am learning so far is to appreciate that i am constantly being forgiven and forgiving.

Have a great weekend.

I am spending my Friday night in the kitchen cooking Malaysian curry for 20 hungry people coming to my house to party tomorrow.

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