Thursday, 20 March 2008

staring at death

It's March today... three months since new year, and 3 months since my brother-in-law's early departure.

Still i am staring at death these few weeks. My colleague's dad with cancer, my neighbour's palliatice care from cancer, another friend of mine going through the whole package of chemo and its side effects.

I visited uncle Ng yesterday at a hospital in London. They have extracted some liquid from his stomach, he felt better. He was nil by mouth for 2.5 weeks. Just on morphine, paracetamol and antibiotic drips. Artificial saliva spray for his dry mouth.

I chat with him for half an hour and i told him about Jesus. On retrospect, i could have spoken more fluently or tell him more about salvation etc. When i was there, i realised there is a noticeable obvious different between one who has Christ in the their life and one who doesn't. I told him if he is afraid or have any fear, he can always call on to Jesus to give him the peace in his heart.

Given the same situation, my other friend TS responded so differently. Very very super super differently. Knowing that we belong to God, and we are his children gives us hope. Death is an entrance to eternal home with our Father. We are going home and if you are like me, we will have our final reunion in the Father's house and we will never eve be separated again. We still do not get immuned from facing the curse of death and disease and pain, but we have hope, we have peace and strength to stare at it.

I left uncle Ng with a heavy heart. We strive and we search for gold, fame and bungalows. One day, disease/death knock on our doors and we find our gold, and fame are merely blank cheques and paper. Then, we wish we could exchange those with time or health. We banged the door and we blame God.
and God said : you had your chances and you had your time to accept the world of eternity. Since you chose to live and think only for the now and this world, you have it your way."

I am sad... and i pray that uncle Ng is able to embrace this at this later stage of his journey,

love, faith and hope... we need it now and for eternity. When we don't embrace it, we will continue living in a wolrd where there is none


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