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Friday, 1 February 2008

still thinking

another editor who is involved in the same newsletter said we can't please everyone. Sometimes, a brief apology can stop the problem from getting bigger.

This leads me to think :

In life,
1. do you speak up for what is right? or
2. you say sorry to stop the problem from getting bigger, even if nothing wrong was done?
3. When you apologise, does that mean you have compromised?
4. Can you say sorry AND speak up for what is right?

Yes, in a working culture, and in customer service, when people is angry or upset, the first thing you do is to cool them down and pacify them. In those cases, an apology works best.

So, to answer the question 3 above, in such context, apology doesn't mean you have compromised. People who are angry are self-centred, they can't hear anything and nothing register. So no matter how much you stand for what you think is right, it will anger them more.

So yes to answering question 2: apology is the best pacifier. Only a person who is cool can listen and really register what you say.

Answering question 4, when the person is ready to listen, you can speak where you come from.

About question 1, sometimes i think we are hearing lesser voices that speak up for what is right and wrong. Everyone is saying it's relative. Right, according to who? Not many people stick to their conviction anymore, provided they have their own conviction in the first place.. that is...

So, the picture looks like this :
a. there is no longer an opinion or conviction anymore, people go for the latest trend and follow the crowd
b. Becaue there is no conviction and sticking to it, there is no longer any voice that speaks against it or for it.

Oh and one more thing, whether you apologise to stop the problem without justifying that it wasn't your intention to upset anyone, or you don't apologise, people will still get upset. Whatever you do, you just can't please everyone.

So what you do and your knee-jerk responses are pretty much the outflow of who you are at the core of your being and the values you hold in life.

If that someone was me, i will be empathic but i will not apologise and said that the article was incorrectly written, or said that it has been overlooked. I will say that her opinion do count, and i will take that on board. To do that, i will have to consult a third party and come to a decision.

The explanation behind why i do what i did is because ideally, i would like to stick and stand up for what i think is right. People get offended not so much because something you did. They get upset because by you doing what is right, it puts them to shame ( not referring to this incidence). The bible warns us that you will suffer for doing what is right, ( right according to God's standard).

I am honest and hence i find i can't really fit into this working culture where people do not say yes when it's a yes and no when it's a no. I can't stand hypocritical people. A smile, friends or foe? You can't really tell. I can't play this game because i am not the type of person who agrees with the rules in the first place.

Anyway, it's friday, and i have done too much reflection. Looking forward to tonight's make up lesson on black skins.

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