as i have been thinking of manipulation and trying to figure out how my colleague is manipulative, i still can't come to terms that she is, although i think she is. Meaning, i can't pin point her behaviour explicitly, but i know she is manipulating everyone in the team, including myself. My another colleague said i am too nice, and i can't bear to think the worst of her. Partly true, or maybe i am just plain naive and not able to identify the subtle moves and intentions.
So what actually is manipulation? I know it's something that one does to get what she/he wants, at the expense of others. More subtly, it's about you knowing the weaknesses of others, and use that to persuade them to think the way you do. Very deep. I have yet to figure that out for myself.
I came across this, and clearly someone is able to express it much better than i do :The Art of Communication, Power and Manipulation written by Kosjenka Muk
"Often, though, there is a thin line between the conscious use of communication techniques in order to improve relations and communications, and to influence other people to do things we want them to do but which perhaps are not what they truly want to do, or, what is even more common, when they are not even aware of our intentions. "
"Promoters of the use of the art of communication who aim to control others would say that we are actually doing them good, in particular if we have succeeded in making the other person really want to behave in this way, or feel better about himself. This idea, however, is a disrespectful attitude and implies that we know what is good for that person better than he himself knows. This is an egotistical and immature viewpoint even in a parent - child relationship, and especially in relation to another adult person"
Read more HERE