Wednesday, 9 January 2008

On comfort and pain

Arrived heathrow airport at 630am, went home, arrive office at 10 am.
It's now 530pm and i am staying back for few minutes of silence and reflection. Too many thoughts and reflection over the past 10 days in hong kong, before, at and after the funeral of Ming Fai, my dearest brother in-law.
On death and pain, all of us do not have the answers, why me? or why him? why now?
I have so much to write but today, i want to talk about comfort. Friends sent their deepest condolense. To be honest, there's not much could be said apart from those few words.
In the absense of words, i realised that what really matters is Presence. When i was young, i remembered someone wrote lines like these on a card:
The best kind of friend is one with whom u can sit on a bench saying nothing and when you get up and go, u feel u have had the BEST conversation of ur life…
I now understood this. I, for one, are not used to silence. I feel uncomfortable when i am not saying anything. My mind will be busy churning on things to say. I am guilty of it.
It's the presence that speaks for itself.
From this event, i realised one truth:
pain unites us as human beings. After one experienced the pain of loss, my story become their stories. Their stories have become ine too. My pain becomes their pain. They know the depth of the pain. They no longer speak as a third person.
I don't think anyone is exempt from pain. It's part of living in this world. To grief is to be alive....
Only those who received comfort know how to comfort.
Needless to say, only those who are loved know how to love.
Our presence, alongside with those who aches, means everything.
2 Corinthians: 1: 3-5
All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too

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