Monday, 17 December 2007

At times like this

At times like this
i wish there is no pain, no separation , no death of loved ones
i wish there is no sin, no selfishness, no cancer, no illness
At times like this
i want to  be with my family, physically and till the day i die
i want to have memories of the time spent with my family
and not just for that precious two weeks of my annual leave each year
At times like this
i realise i am merely a creature, so small that life and death is not in my hands
i feel utterly helpless
At times like this
it's so hard to swallow the notion of "fate" or the "will of God"
it's so hard to acknowledge that God is God and everything is under His control
At times like this
i question the meaning of my life, and what i am doing here in London
is it for the money? comfort ? my husband? my decision?
At times like this
i cry my heart out
i cry because i don't want to miss it
i don't want to spend time with my family only when they are physically ill
for i know life is merely a breath, could be here today, gone tomorrow
At times like this
i resent separation, illness and sin
at times like this
i am confused and too weak to pray

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