Back to my desk. On my way to work i said : " God, another day. What am i suppose to do today? How should i live? "
I suspect one of the main reason for late nights is the hidden demotivation for work. Well, that's albert and my interpretation of our psychology behind late nights. We sleep around 12- 1 am, especially with guest in our house. Albert reasoned it's because we dread to go to work.
I wonder if you ever have this experience when you were a child where all your friends are going somewhere, and you, for some reason, maybe parents or other commitment, can't join your friends, and you just watch they go with so much pity in your eyes. That's how i feel right now in terms of my job. Two of my colleagues ( a total team of 3 incld. me) are going for secondment at the same time: December 07, one for 6 months, and the other for 12 months. Needless to say, i am the remnant of this exile. My take is that they will probably not come back after their secondment and i hope that I won't be here too, if they ever come back.
Yesterday a recruiting company called me for some opportunities in some corporate in whom NHS is their biggest client. I am quite excited with that possibilities, but it's only a 6 months contract, plus a reduction of 5k of salary. Risky ground.
I reckon i should just set my heart, save money from my current salary for my possible studies in the future. When you know that you are having Haagan Daz ice-cream after meal (assuming that's your favourite), you won't mind chopping the onion for your meal. If i do end up studying for another degree, it will be a major decision for me and that i will not do unless i am very clear that it's the direction that i want to take. Yes, maybe i am immature to make any major decision in life, except marrying Albert. Ha. To be hones,t i didn't think hard before marrying albert. People asked me why did i marry Albert, i just said i couldn't think of any reason not to. So yes i admit, i didn't think long and hard before making that so-called major decision of life as a human being.