"He left me, probably i am not good enough for me."
"We broke up, because she deserves better"
I watched a south korean movie last night : " Seducing Mr. Perfect" , about a woman who always get dumped. After her heartbreak, she is learning the game of love and power from her boss, so she never get dumped again.
During her heart break, she spoke words the above words.
Very often, our self image and self worth are determined by those around us. We have a tendency to be defined by our loved words, from their words. Children being brought up by parents who always said they are not good enough, they are stupid, dumb, normally will have a tough time building his/her self confidence when they face the world. Often , this inadequacy will be reflected in relationships as well.
As we mature, we have to learn to make a choice, to choose which voice to listen to.
The world may tell us that, but God, our father who loves us never say that we are worthless, or stupid.
"God created man in his own image.." Genesis 1:27,
"Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because i love you... do not be afraid, for i am with you.." Isaiah 43: 4
The other day when i was about to wrap my herbal chicken with plastic and aluminium foil into the oven, Albert said that the foil will be sufficient. The plastic will melt in the oven. I replied : " Oh yea, i am so stupid". He said : " no, you are not, " i replied : " Yeha, you are right, if i insult my intelligence, i am insulting my God who creataed me."
We don't hear enough of words of encouragement, words that build us up. Moreso,we don't speak enough of those words to build others.
If i want to learn how a TV remote works, i have to check the manual for more instruction. Yes we may know the basic, like volumes and chanel, but teletext, and more sophiscated function, the manual is the place.
So if we want to know our worth, our purpose , God's words is the manual of our lives. Through his words, we hear words of encouragement and definition of ourselves.
Once we are clear about our self worth and self image, we no longer get tossed around and being defined by those around us. One day that man could be in love with me and said all the nice things about me, the next day, when he no longer loves me, everything that i do was never right. Then we hide in the corners and cried and said to ourselves, we are not good enough, not gentle enough, not pretty enough etc... .Those could be quite extreme examples, but this applied in conflicts or arguments.
When that happen, we should realise the temptation to disparage ourselves. Go to the manual and listen to the voice of your creator once again. Do not believe in that lie. Perceive yourself as how your Creator, Heavenly Father perceive you.
"You are precious and honoured in my sight, I love you, do not be afraid for i am with you."