She will never be happy. She comes to me with a complaint, I give her a number of solutions, and she seems to just want to argue. She goes on and on about her feelings; what is the big deal anyway? I tell her, 'Accept that your toe was stepped on, make sure it doesn't happen again, and move on.' I mean, I didn't mean to hurt her feelings to begin with and this could all be solved so easily if she would just listen.
How in the world does a man and woman practice 'deference' amongst difference?! We try to give one another what we think the other wants, and it just doesn't work... as a matter of fact, it seems to make things worse. We're seemingly handicapped by the DNA and hormones that God gave us. We think, "aaa, he's from Mars, I'll never reach him", or "she's from Venus, she'll never get it". Whether or not we are from Mars, Jupiter, or Pluto, the idea is that we are in this together now. read more here...
Tolerance and Influence
Imagine! You are a father. Your son disobeys.
Do you yell? Do you have tolerance to persuade?
Hot heads yell. Usually, one hot-head creates another hot-head. Tolerant persons create tolerant persons. This research says hot-heads have less influence than the fathers who are more tolerant. Hot heads simply “shoot-themselves-in-the-foot” as the cowboy-west persons used-to say.
Hotheads destroy their capacity to influence others. The temper-ridden person wants so badly to have people listen, but ruins his-her own chances of influencing the person to listen and obey.
The graph shows that there is a 225% increase in one’s ability to be influential while tolerance increases from 12.9th percentile to the 87.2th percentile (the bottom one-third to the top one-third). You more than double your capacity or ability to influence others when you move higher than the 66th percentile in tolerance. That 225% increase in influence is an average. No doubt some have a 400% increase and some have a 25% increase. Current hot-heads can get a lot more respect by shifting to tolerance, one of the 13 higher core values
Well, I definitely don't want to shoot myself in the foot !