Monday, 23 April 2007

Self assessment

As mentioned in my previous entry, there is a vacancy in my organistion due to be advertised as i know the current job holder. She is just sitting few tables away from me. She has been married 25 years. So that's the age range you are talking about here.

I am nervous. I am not confident. I would like to apply for the job but i am afraid that i won't get the job, maybe not even being short listed.Then, everyone in my floor will know that i applied for the job and didn't get it... i know i know i am a silly cow.

 It's quite a senior job.I studied the person specificatino this morning and leadership qualities was glaringly obvious.That aside, i have this notion of age. I am not even reaching 30 years of age. Plus, i am not a British. Well you could argue that it's in my head. But, to be honest, English is just not my mother tongue. I mean i can write well etc... but in terms of speaking in meetings and the colloquial, there is still a gap. My logical mind tells me i don't look good on papers. Plus, i am not very verbal and loud in my organisations, i have my thoughts and opinions, but i seldom voice them in meetings. My colleague, Ms A is very good with it. She is vocal, she speaks her mind, she make friends with everyone.She has a good reputation, while i, i know where i stand. That's one of the factor one can't deny when applying for internal vacancy. People know your depth. And being so young in my age, and to a certain extend, experience wise, i know i have to work extra hard to prove my worth.

I am just nervous...

Well that's my emotions and thoughts for today...

Irene Tan
P Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it.

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