Tuesday, 17 April 2007


A lot has happened since i last written. The feeling is like you standing at a crossroad, where everything around you is swirling, buzzing very quickly. If you watch lots of movies, you will know what i'm saying. The main character will stand still, and everything around her will just swirl really quickly.

The swirling bits are:

>We had a youth camp last weekend, themed "Encounter Jesus". It was great. Around 40 youths, age ranged from 11 - 18. I am so glad i was there. The last night, God touched my heart and i just saw how real the truth, Jesus is. God loves us, He gives us an identity for eternal, a Child of God, loved by God, never abandoned by God. A God who created this lovely creation, who created this world, who feeds the bird, will he NOt love us even more? Lots of youth go through identity crisis at this stage, trying so hard to fit in, trying so hard to look for love. In the end, we had this ministry of hugs, where the leaders were in front, and the youth came up to us and hug us. I was crying like a baby. Some youth fedback that they were seldom hugged in their own family, by their own parents( chinese environment). I saw the hunger , i saw the lostness of this souls.. they need to feel belong.. and that's the good news, we love them because we are in THE FAMILY OF GOD!

>Following that camp, i was refreshed I was so "high" so excited.. !!!The same way i felt 10 years ago when i came home to God. God has a great plan for the whole humanity... .Either you're in or out. No more hanging around ... i have decided to take my calling seriously. I was exploring the possibility of studying theology. I was confused yesterday morning.. as i can't work out.. how this plan of studying theology fit in with my current job etc

>In terms of career, there is a vacancy in my organisation, higher grade, higher pay, and also another opportunity of partnership came up from some other places.

>Too many choices.. again at a crossroad... I need to pray seriously.I don't want to make decisions on the basis of ££, i want to make decisions which are God centred, to do what God wants me to do. How do i know? You will ask. It that small voice in your heart. Once you hear it, you will grasp the vision, and you will go all out, you will not be swayed with obstacles, you will overcome it at all cost, because you see the vision, you are sure that's the path you want to go.

>I told my youth group in church on Sunday.. "You are no longer kids, you are young man and woman now, and i am going to treat you like one. YOu make decisions, and take responsibilties for your decisions. YOu make a deicision or a promise, you stick to it. It's either you are in or out. Nothing in between. You need to be passionate people. People who are not passionate are not attractive. It's like going to a restaurant with horrible service, the waitress half-hearted serve you.. they can't be bothered, you ask them what is good, they say " just look at the menu-la" with a grumpy face.Now you don't want to be like them. " Those were the exact words i told them.

>Things begin to fall into place.. i will pray and ask for God's plan to be established. I will not quite my job, yet.. i will take my distance learning of theology seriously, meaning i have to start writing my two essays of 1500 words each. I should start my second module soon after i completed my essays.

>My partnership is confirmed today.

>I will try my best for the interview, i have a feeling they will have it when i go for my holiday in May. If it is, too bad. God is in charge of the timing bit.

>Right now, i am working my butt off for my Korean Language Proficiency Test this coming saturday. My definition of "work my butt off" is i read it before i go to bed, i study it on my way to work, during lunch hours, on my way to home, at home.. all the way till i shut my eyes, and hopefully, when i'm sleeping.I really hope i passed as i really put a lot of time and effort into it. I am worried about the writing essay bit, as i haven't started memorising model essays... Argghh so much to do...

>Been reflecting on John chapter 3:1-20 on the conversation between Nicodemus and Jesus. Indeed, you need the Spirit of God to understand spiritual things, to have spiritual insight. No amount of human intellect, education can make someone see spiritual things... Just like the wind.... you can't see it.. but you hear it... .. but it's there...It's like you can explain all you can , and tell something to a person, but you CAN'T make them understand... YOu can't .. that understanding has to stem from within...

From Jimmy Liao-latest book Feb 2007

>I need a pair of spiritual "glasses",to help me see the world and my relation to the world around me with God's eyes.. and that, only can come from God.

Irene Tan
P Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it.

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