The moment we open our eyes ,we are constantly having to make choices. From bacon and eggs breakfast or nasi lemak to studying finance or medicine . We complain when there aren't enough choices. We complain when we have too many choices.
The market is flooded with choices. It's too troublesome to go to one shop just to get one thing. So they have amazon, selling everything from pampers to plasma TV. All in one shop. One-stop health centres , you see the doctors, you get your meds, you pay and even deliver your babies there. Over here, Sainsbury and Tesco are doing their all-in-one service. They have pharmacy in the supermarkets.You drop your prescription, go do your groceries shopping and collect your meds from the pharmacy.
You googled something, and you have hundreds of search results. You want to buy something, you don't know which one to buy. You end up going into reviews website where someone reviewed on your behalf , you read it and you make choices. The art now is no longer how to obtain information, but the narrowing of your search.We are being deceived thinking that our quality of life is improved by the quantity of choices. Is it really?
The question, then, is no longer what to choose, as you will always have plenty to choose, it's about how to make good choices. Not the quantity of choices before you, but the quality of the choice that you make. How do you know you won't regret it?
People often ask me how to do you he is the one? Well, you don't and you do. You do know about what you know, and for the things that you don't, you walk on faith, based on what you already knew.You are ready to commit yourselves and work on it. Let's just put it this way, we often question these because we want 100%, we want certainty. We don't want any hardwork or bumpy rides. We long for perfection and certainties in a perfect world. Unfortunately, uncertainties are inevitable in life, we are imperfect beings in imperfect world, longing and demanding perfection. Beneath the uncertainties and the longing for perfection, there is more.
Deep within us, we fear.
One of the things i have learnt about making choices is eliminating fear. The fear of making mistakes and the fear of regret.
As the saying goes, mistakes and pain is inevitable. So don't be afraid of making mistakes. But suffering is optional. Given the mess before us, what can we learn from it. It's about how we interpret our mistakes and occasional slips.
I take comfort in knowing that life is only 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of how we cope with it. The 10% is not within our control, but the 90% is in our hands.
I take comfort in knowing that the small me is in the hands of a Big God. My mistakes are never bigger than him.My Father holds me in his hands, and he will pull me through. He will give me the inner strength to endure it, only if i ask.
As for the fear of regret, regret depends on where you anchor your target. We regret because we miss the target. So in order to cope with that, we can shift our target and anchor in on something more meaningful
My value is to anchor it on character building, of reflecting on how the events help me to develop the virtues in me. How does this makes me a more loving person and how i can make it a better place for others.
I choose to :
- remain hopeful about possibilties and pleasant surprises which are just round the corner
- be a child of God, standing up for what i believe instead of taking the more convenient ways of compromising.
- practice love and kindness in the midst of rivals and hatred, in the most unlikely places
- persevere in what i believe about love, hope and faith
- hold on to the ethos that life is not a measure of perfection, but of faith in Christ.It's okay to be weak, and fall, as long as i do not give up. The engine can be slow, but i choose not to turn off the engine.
I choose not to:
- allow the pain and the hurt to cloud my views of the beauty and joy of this world.
- harden my heart towards the cry of the poor and the sick.
- ignore and condemn the alcoholics and client users, saying they deserve it.
- measure the success of mine and others by what they do or their wealth.
- spend my whole life earning lots of money, i have what i need and i don't need what i want.
When i die, all it matters is my Virtuos Being, not my Vuitton Bag.
When i die, i want to be remembered as a person who doesn't give up hope in the hopelessness and a person who sows the seed of love in the land of hatred and bitterness.