My manager got back to me today. He said it's not a "no" at this stage, there are possibilities to be explored, -whatever that means. I proposed a 6 months secondment to gain that "win-win" situation.We are meeting with another locality director when he gets back from his annual leave.He also had one to one session with the other two of my colleagues to hear their views on this. I realised today that it's hard to find someone who "weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice", who genuinely shares your joy when things are good with you. On one hand, i do not wish to assume what's on their mind. I leave the judgement to God. Sometimes, you just can't help it. I have to stop myself to think ill of anyone, yet, not to trust them fully. Furthermore, it confirms the philosophy that your identity, ie who you are, affects how you interpret and your prespective toward the matter.
I am writing this because my manager did say that my colleagues told him their concern, about workload, with my reduced hours. To be honest, i am not worried about it, because i don't have much to do at work, i am bored. Yet, i don't want to make it explicitly that i have free time in my hands. My manager should know my workload since he is the one who gives me the work. The other reason is i feel unfair. My another colleague, Ms A, took on another person's job which makes her now the deputy and lead in pharmacy, yet me and Mr. W are helping her with her work. She is the lead, while we share her workload. Nothing personal, just how the work system with those hierachy lines. I guess Ms A see it this way because she is a manager herself. This further illustrate that who you are affects what you see. I appreciate their perspective as an organisation. But workload is an ongoing issue. When will workload not be a problem? I am being deskilled at my current job. I didn't spend all all my years of studying, spending my parent's hard-earned money to make graphs on excel sheet and data entry! *Grrr* What about my personal development plan? Does the organisation only want to squeeze everything out of us, without taking into account that we as employees have our own needs as well? Ms A was very keen to know the content of my conversation with my manager but i was reluctant to tell her. Mainly i guess because she is worried about workload. She was the one who agreed willingly to take on another person's job without any increment of salary. She is doing two persons job, with one salary, and with four person helping her( yeah we are sharing her workload, why can't she share mine huh? ). So i answered vaguely. Being her, she asked me why am i talking in circles. I said, because i don't know the answer. The truth is, i know she personally would disapprove it. Oh boy, how glad i am she is not my manager! How selfish is that huh? She is currently job hunting , aiming for chief pharmacist post, applying for other jobs, and here she is, showing her disapproval on her face. My another colleague, Mr W is happy for me, because this is something that he wanted to do, but unable to push it forward.
From this simple proposal of mine, to develop myself in my career, i can clearly see what my colleagues are like from their reaction. When things are jolly and good, everyone is your friend. When things like this happen, everyone is out for themselves. (I don't deny i may be one of them). I think it's much worst in non-health care profession. At least we can say we are doing it in the name of " the patients' good".
I may have been foolished in telling my manager what i am going to do with that reduced 6 hours. I could have just told him for personal reason, i would like to reduce my hours. I told him today as well that if i didn't tell him about this medication review that i may be working for this GP, all these will take a different slant. "Hmnn, interesting" was his response.
Well that's where i am, whatever the outcome, i have proved my point to my organisation that they are deskilling me in my position. I am considering independant prescriber.