Friday, 2 February 2007


People blog for different reasons. I, for one, blog to map out my thoughts. I pen down my reflection.Over the years, i benefitted a lot from this exercise.

This week i reflected on competitiveness. It was merely knowledge initially when i read about it. I grasped it better when i pen them down. I was more aware of this phenomena in my daily living. It serves as a mirror and lens to which i view the reality and the world around me. Initially i wrote it as if i am pointing my finger at something system/ or flaw, but now the fingers are on myself. I can see that i am part of the flaw.

On Wednesday , when i met up with my ex-colleagues, subconsciously, i was comparing myself with them. Four of us worked in the same hospital one and a half year ago, and now four of us are heading different directions. One is pursuing medical degree , one moved on and worked with a private company who produce patient information leaflet for medication, one, is will with NHS but got promoted.  I stay the same.

I wasn't jealous or anything. I was happy for my friend who got promoted, managing a mental health unit. I can no longer work in hospital environment and dispensary.Somehow, i look at myself and it seems that i am not progressing, and i am not developing. What i am trying to say : i am not competing with others, but subconsciously, i am comparing, which i don't think it's healthy either. I trust that everyone is unique and has their own calling and role to play.

Besides, writing/mapping out my thoughts allows me to grasp and own them. Just this week, i actually spoke to 3 people on competitiveness and how we are being "institutionalised in cultivating this culture of competitiveness and selfishness". I shared with my jazz piano teacher who agreed with me. This morning, we had a lengthy discussion with my colleagues.

My colleague quote an example when he first started school, first thing that was being requested by the teacher is to write their own names on their pens and pencils.It's insunuating what is mine belongs to mine. In workplace, we see lots of them. Many of us do not share our good practices with others. I sent an e-mail to hundred of all  pharmaceutical advisers in London on Diabetes health promotion campaigh that they have done in their own organisation. Only one replied and attached their resources. I was told i am lucky to even get one. Sharing practices and resources is not our nature, especially is workplace. I understand that other professions are of different nature, but in a healthcare organistation, my view is that  all of us have a common goal: for the patient's good. I don't see any point in keeping things close to their chest. By the end of the day, what is the point of reinventing the wheel when other people has done it?

I am grateful for the habit of reflection and able to constantly remind myself that everyone around me serve as a reflection of myself, as no one is perfect. The flaw that i see in others are the flaws that others see in me as well.

Matthew 7: 1-5
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye


  1. Right now, I am preparing for the Bible Study this week. It's on Matthew 7:1-12. Then, I was bored and opened your blog. Then I saw this passage again!

  2. thank you ... =)


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