Sunday, 21 January 2007

The L word


Alone in the theatre
watched a movie that i don't understand
looked around
realised everyone else is concentrating and enjoying
suddenly, it comes to my understanding
of the definition of loneliness - Jimmy liao

Today i feel lonely. Helplessly, i have caught the virus of self-pity.

I miss my mum, my brothers, my family. I miss the love that they showered towards me. My comfort zone.

Today we had our church anniversary, over 700 christians, from different congregation, came together to celebrate the faithfulness of God.

After church service, i sat there. Lots of faces around me, some familiar , some don't. Those that are familiar, i know them but i don't.

I know their names, i see them on Sundays. But i don't know them. I don't them what they are like, i don't spend a lot of time with them. That's the smiling, nodding friendship i call them.

I know Jimmy can illustrate it better than i do.

Loneliness is a state of heart where you feel no one understands you or no one feel the pain as much as you do.

I was surrounded by hundreds of faces but i felt lonely.

I could be in the company of one soul mate, yet fulfilled.

I always wonder do i feel it more than others? Or it's just that i am honest about it and talk about it?

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