Like I kept on hammering on this embedded values behind one’s interpretation of text, two people can read the same text and end up with contrasting conclusion.
My friend, after reading my story on drying my feet came to a conclusion that anything can become an argument in marriage. Having said that, her second line is the essence.
Like there are two sides of a coin, I would like to suggest two possible interpretation with the same story. One would be the interpretation of my friend, from the first statement. The other, especially for couples who have gone through the motion of getting to know each other and adjusting to each other phase, will probably laugh at my entry. They laugh because they were there before, and on hindsight, it was a good thing that they went through it.
For example, if you haven’t exercised for a long time and have started doing it. On the first day, you will probably end up with muscle ache. Your posterior may even hurt when you sit down! However, you know that the temporal hurt is an indication of 1) you are alive,
2) your muscles are working ,
3) they are being stretched to prepare themselves for bigger task ahead
Hence, you will be relieved that your muscles are aching, knowing that they are achieving good in you.
Coming back to my friend’s comment on anything in a marriage can start an argument. My response will be yes and no. Yes anything in a marriage can start an argument, which could be a bad thing to some. Who you are determine how you interpret the text and how you come to know something.For some who are marriage-phobic, they may see it as another reason for them not to marry. No, from my point of view, it’s an exercise to show love, just like stretching your muscles.
I see these as stepping stones in getting to know each other more, to identify the differences, which are not wrong in itself, and use LOVE to bridge the gap. Yes, it can end up with argument and hatred when there is no LOVE.
Where there is no love, all is left is duty and responsibility.
Just like how we used to hate the subject in exams,we just studied to pass, to fulfill our duty.
On the other hand, these can be opportunities to practice our love, to love someone who disagree with us, who is different from us. My friend, too has rightly pointed it out. What is the point of loving someone who thinks the way you do ? It will just be loving yourself by the end of the day. Doesn’t take much to love yourself, does it? Since loving ourselves is our natural reflexes.
If every parents just see raising kids as changing pampers, waking up in the middle of the night to feed them, spending all their fortune for their kids, there will be no new birth, no me, no you. Fortunately, that is just one part of the story. There is tremendous joy and satisfaction in raising a child (according to all parents I know) and they never regretted having one. There are sacrifices to be made but there are satisfaction that can’t be measured with monetary terms as well.
The truth is, life is a mosaic of pain and healing, laughter and tears. Both of them co-exist. We can prevent as much pain as possible, (which is our reflex) but it does not guarantee that we will live a pain-free life and not get hurt at all. But one thing for sure, there will be no healing and no joy. Don’t get me wrong, doesn’t mean that we injure ourselves intentionally so that we can have healing. What I am getting at is that pain is inevitable in this fallen world, but, as a christian who put my trust in Christ, there is hope, healing, satisfaction,redemption, joy, and of course, character building in Christ( and in the process of all those sacrifices and pain).
Stepping stone or stumbling block, the choice is yours. Don’t forget, resurrection only happens after death.
James 1: 2-8 “2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does
“Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;”- John 11:25