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Wednesday, 4 October 2006

To confront her or her husband

Albert and I found out something very interesting from our wedding. Mrs B asked about 13 people( couples considered as one) to share our wedding gift. However, we received a big box of used stuff, with dead cockroaches in it Plus marriage enrichment camp voucher.

These are all our very close friends. So we were unhappy because you don�t give used old stuff to a happily newly wed couples. Plus, logically speaking, as Chinese, you won�t give �10 in a red packet for a ten course meal with lobster right? I am honest here� it�s not that we are money minded or anything, just doesn�t make sense, especially you know that your close friends are not this kinda people. So, we were disappointed and kept to ourselves.

Three months later, another couple got married, from the same circle of friends. Same thing happened to them. Lots of people signed on the card, who gave them again marriage enrichment camp voucher (the value is written on the voucher, hence we know the cost of the voucher) and a big box of used and old stuff.
Again, same person Mrs. B organised this and everyone handed their contribution to her.

So this couple called me to ask what I received from Mrs. B. I told them. Then I asked this couple,
� according to the number of signatures on the card and the total amount of the gifts we received, average, each couple contributed �10. Is that how much you contributed to the gift during our wedding?�

No, we contributed �50 as a couple and I think the rest of the people contributed more or less the same amount!!!�

WHAT?�

You can do the maths� .. � It just doesn�t work out�

So I e-mailed those who signed on the card, telling them that I am updating my spreadsheet re wedding gifts and asked them how much did they contribute , ie how much did they give it to Mrs. B.

Turned out there is a huge discrepancy between total sum of everyone�s contribution and the value of the gifts. Approximately �300 is gone to �duno-who� �and this is from our wedding.. the other couple will be around that figure too� .. gone to the same �duno-who�.

That�s the highlight of our week so far� we are thinking and praying for wisdom to handle this. Both the woman, ie me and the other wife would like to confront Mrs. B. Albert and the other husband would like to ask Mrs. B husband to deal with Mrs. B in their own home and then come back to us with an �explanation.�

Surprise huh? Having lived for a quarter century, having a friend who is considered closed to us, and having encounter such deception, in the name of �wedding gifts�. We have to admit that there is no perfect solution. We will just choose the most appropriate course of action to us, with minimum damage. We haven�t told all those who contributed what happened to their money. We will tell them only after speaking either to Mrs B or Mrs. B�s husband.

Being me, I will probably prefer to confront Mrs B. However, Albert said Mrs B may flare up and show her temper and leave the discussion. We may achieve more if we just ask Mrs. B�s husband to deal with her ( we are unsure whether Mrs. B�s husband know what his wife has done)

Watch the space.

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