I must say I have been dreaming a lot recently.. maybe because there�s too much on my mind lately. Those dreams� hilarious.. I can still remember.. last week, I dreamt that all my teeth were falling out, I still remember the feelings of having all the teeth in my hands. Boy ! I was terrified .. PLUS my old friend, Beng weng was in front of me when I had all those teeth in my hands. When I woke up, I was thinking, what? Beng weng? Of all people? No explanation there�
Last night, I dreamt that I failed the MSAT exam, the medical entrance exam. I woke up this morning and told my Albert about dream.
� You haven�t even entered medical school and you are stressed out already!� Albert said.
I kept quiet� .. yeah dot dot dots and more dots to come�� �
To be honest, there is this part in me where I will be embarrassed if I fail the exam or interview. I have to convince myself that it�s not a trial to prove myself or anything, it�s just hard to come to terms that the �I-am-not-good-enough� notion. Of course , I would rather say that I am just experience in the medical school interview culture. If I go through the same thing for few consecutive years, maybe three or five years down the road, I will be accepted. That is to refute that failure of interview and exams doesn�t equal to failure. No permanent failure I mean. Come one, it�s just experience ain�t it. Some people are picking it quicker than others.
I am the slow one.. but the tortoise won the race. HA !
All the above paragraphs are hypothetical as I haven�t even submitted my UCAS form. The deadline for medical school is 15th of October. In the meantime, I am tempted to seek professional help with my draft personal statement.