Thursday, 28 September 2006

Knowledge without love

As I said, too busy� workload has increased. As meaningless as it is to me, I am learning to just obey, ie this is where I am now and I have to accept that this is what I do.

For example, last Friday, I went to Ealing west London to shadow two other pharmacist from Primary Care Trust in conducting their pharmacy contract monitoring visit. They visited the pharmacy, questioned the pharmacist and the counter staff, mainly to check whether they fulfilled the requirement in the contract. Things like, what do you do with returned medicine from patients, checking the fridge and the temperature, their documentation of any intervention , or dispensing errors etc..whether they have a shredder, documentation of all their procedures, The whole process took one and a half hours. I was standing there and thinking to myself � I can�t do this� this is useless �. More like a paper exercise��

Yes, I hate my job.. so what? I still have to live with it. I haven�t thought of a solution to my problem.

Honestly, my frustration revolves the issue that I studied so much, those nights of just memorizing drug names that doesn�t make sense, sitting for exams after exams, 3 years university,1 year pre-registration training in Malaysia, i.e. one year of counting tablets, printing labels day in day out , another year of pre-registration training in UK, job responsibilities mentioned afore, 1 year of MSc in London, na�ve enough to think that a postgraduate will open up a new horizon for me , plus my sacrificial parents who mortgaged our one and only roof to pay my tuition fees in London. Unexpectedly, after my Msc, I was still counting tablets, but this time , now that I am a registered pharmacist, I count less, just do more checking, checking whether the labels are printed correctly, whether the amount of tablets are as prescribed, chasing doctors when they should have written 100mg instead of 10mg, or when they should written total quantity in words and figures.

There are always two ways of seeing it, so they say. I told my mum all I did was checking tablets and counting them, she said it�s good that I am overpaid for my job. She is more than willing to count the tablets if she is being paid that much. Then I thought, I didn�t go through all those years of hardwork, betting our rooftop on my MSc to count tablets eventually? Surely there�s more than that. I hope.

That explains the move to my current job. I hate counting tablets, hate printing labels, especially when you do that from 9 to 5 pm.

This job frustrates me too. My first and foremost responsibility is to save NHS money from prescribing. Unfortunately, I cannot make it happen, SINCE I am not the GP. Hence, what I do , I have to beg the GP to prescribed a cheaper equivalent drug. PLUS our PCT pay them when they help the NHS to save money. How pathetic is that? Well it�s not that bad, my manager says..he coated it and said that we influence the prescribing behaviour of GP. Oh really? We can�t penalize them for overspent their prescribing budget. They are independent contractors.

Enough of moaning� conclusion: This is where I am, I have to accept it.

"Knowledge puffs up but love builds up." 1 corinthians 8:1

Maybe it�s pride�. This is a lesson on humility.

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