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Friday, 18 August 2006

Woman, Career, Family

As conservative as it sounds, family should be the priority over career. My colleague, Shee nicely said it :
when you are 60 years old, you don�t want more money, you want grandchildren by your side,� Shee has no plan to climb the career ladder, both of us are on the same pay scale, in view that she is not a pharmacist. She studied environmental studies and did something completely different.

I have been very disturbed these few weeks, as I am thinking of a way out. I have been very narrow minded, in thinking that medicine is the only way out for me, PLUS the fact that I am married, my decision affects my husband. It�s not that easy. I am just fed up of singing the same old tune, my blog entries since 2002 mainly revolves around this unresolved issue. It�s funny that this problem doesn�t go away despite changing 3 jobs in one year. First job as a basic grade pharmacist lasted me 6 months, second job as not-so-basic grade lasted me 18 months, I was told that I was too smart for the job I was doing, checking and counting tablets, current job, quite senior, advising doctors and monitoring budget, been in the job for 12 months. YET, I still feel the same.

Options that I could think of :

A: medical degree, 3 years , PLUS lifetime of on-calls but with satisfaction

B: Management Consulting, Mckinsey advertised in Pharmaceutical Journal, recruiting health care professionals in the health care brand, Long hours and maybe not much satisfaction , will be dealing with issues of acquisition, merging, etc�

C: stay at my current job, have babies, work part-time then return to full time job after 6-7 years. NHS is the only workplace where I can do that

D: Art- study some design degree and work as graphic designer as a hobby, since I am not the bread winner, I can enjoy and relax, it�s my hobby anyway

Woman, career, family� I have to remind myself that I am a woman, I am married and I have to seriously consider possibilities of being a mum. When the latter come into place, all other options will not be an option anymore. Maybe I haven�t not come into terms that I will one day become a mum ( if I choose to) and will not have too much time and energy climbing the career ladder.

All I know is I don�t want to remain as a pharmacist. I have seen too many examples before me of not-getting anywhere.

I am very tired and I am lost . Again, I find myself at a junction �.. I read this article that vocation is about ABC, Ability, Burden and Circumstances� I have a burden for sick and poor, ability not sure, circumstances not sure� to test whether C allows, I plan to complete UCAS form for the intake next year.. and the rest is entirely out of my control. Who knows, I might fail the interview and then, it will clearly be a NO.

Life is like a box of chocolate, you�ll never know what you gonna get�

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