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Wednesday, 24 May 2006

Why? Why do i marry?

Why are you so like that? Why do you talk to me like that? No, i didn't.. yes you did.. are you trying to imply something? No, i didn't say it... etc....

What is the point of being with someone who is totally different from you? i no longer can fly when i wish to, and run when i wish to.. i can't just do things my way now... why? why marry? etc....

Met up with Debbie, Yue siew, shuwen and tai yan last Saturday.. all my seconday school friends. Debbie from Malaysia stopped over in London and we decided to meet up. Lots of old days gossips. who was with who, who was the hot chick or the handsome hunk.. different people definitely has different taste! no doubt about that.. then....

towards the end of our conversation, I was asked why did I marry Albert... long pause.... another pause... they felt awkward that I took so long to think yet without any answers. Another pause... Debbie said we are stepping on wafer thin ice , which I didn't get it.

I went home and thought about this question, the following day, I went to Wai kea's blog to read about the entry that she wrote previously on why people get married. Marrying Albert has been so natural in our relationship that I didn't really sit down and came up with a list of eloquent answers. Debbie said, some people married because of companionship, some because they want babies etc...some because of love, ready for commitment, of course a handful because of Lust..

I asked my colleague the next day the same question. She said commitment and union. Wow.. bingo ! She being a strong and religious Indian said that without commitment to one person for the whole life, human beings are like animals, having sex with one partner after the other. To her, such behaviour seems more like lust than love. She was being asked by her friend why marry, it's just a piece of paper. She replied: if it's a piece of paper, why don't you marry? I know this is very contentious , but up to this stage, what I have been writing it as descriptive, ie I am writing about the conversation that we had. She said that eventhough people often say about that piece of paper, but surely there is much more than the piece of paper. It's about commitment that not many are willing. People love pleasure but not willing to pay the price of commitment.

To be honest, I don't know what has become to our human race now.. people no longer care about right and wrong, they only care about how to make themselves feel good. I do this because I feel like it. Everyone is behaving according to their own standard, freedom freedom on their lips. They worship themselves. We no longer value virtue but we have given birth to feel-good community. You don't have to look far, advertisements, tv, magazines, newspaper .. look good feel good that is the purpose of living.. *sigh* *sad*

John piper wrote in his book :
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune (23 October 1997, A18) carried Mary McCarty's review of Joan Brumberg's book, The Body Project. The book is about the difference between how girls saw themselves one hundred years ago and how they see themselves at the end of twentieth century. Her conclusion: In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, girls' diaries focused on good works and perfecting the character. In the 1990s, the diaries are fixated on good looks, on perfecting the body.

For example, one diary from 1892 says resolved to think before speaking. To work seriously. To be self-restrained in conversations and actions. To be dignified. Contrast this with an entry from 1982: I will try to make myself better in any way I possibly can with the help of my budget and baby-sitting money. I will lose weight, get new lenses, already got new haircut, good makeup, new clothes and accessories.

Consider the shift of focus from good works to good looks
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness (1 timothy 2:9-10)

Your adornment must not be merely external- braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry , or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God (1 peter 3:3-4,6,)

Yes, I have digressed.,.. Coming back to my own question : why do I marry Albert? Commitment and union. My conviction is that my Heavenly Father is a god of commitment because he loves me and he never leave nor forsake me, in romans 8

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died.more than that, who was raised to life is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I want to learn to love like Christ, sacrificial and committed. To experience it and to live it out. My heavenly father is committed to me and albert, and the meaning of 2 becoming one.. and in unity we will serve our God.

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