Friday, 26 May 2006

Tears- God's gift

who designed tears? why do we cry? The first thing that we all did when we came to this world was to cry. Doctors and midwives make sure babies cry by patting them, if they don't they will further investigate.....

I am a person who tears easily, genetic disposition from my mum. There were many instances in my life that i wish i didn't tear in front of people. On one account, on a hospital ward, a nurse confronted me and blamed that pharmacy staff made mistake, but in fact it was the doctor's! Tyical scenario i have to say, everyone worship the doctors, except the pharmacist, because they are the only one who question doctor's prescribing habit when it comes to doses, indication, side with all things, there is always some good ones and erm.. well the not-so-good ones.. Back to my story, that nurse's voice and tone intimidated me and the next thing i knew, i teared! I tear when i am very upset and irritated. So embarassing! In this world, tears symbolise weakness. My ego will not allow myself to show my weaknesses , but time and again, i come to realise that healing and strength comes after weakness. As with all diseases, treatment plan can only be made after the diagnosis.

Most of the people i know will always put up their best, especially at work place. The value of human beings tends to be determined by one's ability, intelligence and contribution to the society. Following this argument, we should abolish all the not-so-capable people, and the not-so-intelligent people from our human race. What do we do with the blind, the deaf, the disabled? We don't see them on the street often, do we?

Unfortunately, i don't live by this code of conduct. God's word in the bible teaches me to visit the orphan and care for the poor and sick. It's so easy and tempting to judge a book by its cover. Just a simple observation of our conversations with friends will prove this. That woman is hot, she is not so pretty but yeah.. oh well nice... that man is short and hmn.. he has small eyes and flat nose and thick glasses... I admit i am one of the statistics at times and i am reminding myself to look beyond.

I had a tearful day.. i didn't stop myself from crying because i know the relief will follow. I thank God for tears, it's a form of relief, just like rainbow after rain.

I was very pressured about my Japan Visa, initially when i booked the package tour from Malaysia, i was told that the travel agent will apply for me. Now that it's cancelled, i was told that i could only apply when i am in Malaysia in person. I was too busy with other aspect of the wedding preparation and this item is one of those that has been left out from the loop.

I called Japan embassy in London and was told it takes 7 days. I panicked. Next monday is bank holiday, that leaves me with 30th of May.. it take 5 working days, meaning my trip to France on 5th of June with my whole family may be affected. Discussion about this bring the following gut response from the listener:"Why didn't you do it earlier? " To be honest, this is not pleasant to my ears. I don't want to hear this kinda retrospective comment.. all these "should haves" irritate me. It's like telling a boy that he is a boy. Being in a panick situation, this is the last thing i want to hear.

I admit i didn't do it earlier, because i have overlooked this matter,so what? i am not perfect, no one is... so why can't you overlook my mistake as much as i overlook yours? For your information, this applies to everyone, including my friends. My colleagues discuss about the imperfection of the deputy head of medicine management who sits opposite me.. i told them : no one is perfect, we should look at her good qualities. We are not perfect ourselves....

Btw, our hk package tour was just confirmed two days ago, before that, we were not even sure we were going to japan for sure, or other countries, or even Kota Kinabalu. Well as you can expect what follows, the rest of the conversation didn't go down very well.. *sigh*

Went to Japan embassy first thing in the morning, only to find out that i needed more evidence and documentation, eg employment letter written within the last 3 months, itinerary in English.. come one i joined the package tour is in cantonese... another few phone calls to HK to request for english letter of confirmation, time difference, ppl closing shop etc... and of course, as you would have imagine.. i am not flying to Japan straight from UK, the guy from embassy said in a very British Way: " have you not heard of direct flights?" *ahem* That didn't go down very well..
Hence, i need to show him my air ticket from Uk to KL, and emailed my travel agent to confirm my flights from KL to HK this morning and asked her to mail me the letter, plus rushing back to my office, wrote a confirmation letter on my employment and chased after my manager for his signature, PLUS translating the itinerary..... PLUS worrying about me not able to receive the passport in time for my trip to France.

One phone call from Albert who suggested the option of cancelling this whole trip, better loosing the deposit of �200 pounds than the whole tour. WHAT? i exclaimed... he called me while i was in the midst of preparing all this ...Another comment from him that i have not been doing anything about this... i will stop here... ...

another phone call to the embassy, explained my situation, he gave me a good news... i can bring him a photocopy of my passport and i can have the passport to france, and to collect the visa when i back with my passport.

Went back to the embassy in the afternoon with all the documents and after few checks with his manager, done...

7 pm .. exactly 24 hours from yesterday interesting conversation on the same topic.. with the blaming game...

i am relieved... and my eyes are dry...

But as what i wrote yesterday, weeping may remain , but joy comes with the morning.. i am seeing the rainbow..

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:53 am

    Hey Irene,

    Caught up with your blog for a bit lately, and looks like you have been caught in a tirade of trying events leading up to your wedding. Well, all I can say is hang in there, for the Lord surely is leading you and shaping you up to a stronger person. Have faith. Remember Heb 11:1, Faith is being sure of things hoped for and certain of things not seen. Though you may not see it, God is carrying you on His shoulders. Cheers!!

    Kim Sunn


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