Wednesday, 21 December 2005


left the office with frustration. It's the budget graph this time on the excel. Wajid asked me to do it but i didn't know the exact deadline. At 5 pm, avni asked: how are you doing with the graph? are you finishing it today ? or tomorrow? ( that was a hint that ideally should be today) i said i can't finish all, too many graphs. There was some error on one of the graph and i was frustrated as i had to leave. In the end i said, i finished al, except for lansoprazole which i haven't been told about what to do in step 2. Avni gave me step 1 an hour earlier. She said : instead of telling you what to do, can you think how you can do it? i got heated up, as i don't like things or assignments given to me at the very last minute, i.e. 5pm and expect me to deliver it. I replied with unfriendly tone: i haven;t thought about it yet, i will let you know tomorrow. Avni said: " oh, you are tired are you? " shocked by my reply i guess. i said " ya". I lef the office frustrated and in a bad mood. very unhappy.

Told albert the whole story and i asked him what is wrong with me. Why do i have problems and why am i so frustrated. He said there is no tolerance in me. I was thinking about all the events that happened and albert was right. I have no love, no tolerance, and there was pride in me.

1 Corinthians 13
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I am humbled once again when i get to know myself more. Sivin wrote a quote by MOther theresa :
Few of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love

Christmas reminds me of the love of God, who sent his only son, Jesus Christ to live with us, experienced this life of human beings, showing me how to live life to the fullest and the meaning and purpose of life. I need a heart transplant, the spirit and heart of Jesus Christ, to love in humility.

Philippians 2 (the message)
1If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care-- 2then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. 3Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. 4Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

5Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. 6He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. 7Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! 8Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death--and the worst kind of death at that: a crucifixion.

9Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, 10so that all created beings in heaven and on earth--even those long ago dead and buried--will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, 11and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

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