Four things that went wrong over the weekend, plus Black Monday
Last Sunday, our bible study group discussed the qualities of Jesus and one of the many qualities that we would like to have in us to begin with. I chose patience because I know I am very impatient.
We had harvester practice last Saturday for recording. I am the pianist for a band in our church and harvester is the name of our band. We record our own songs into CDs and give it to people who attended our church service for the first time as souveniers. For this particular song, we practiced the previous Saturday, me, Mr Drummer, Mr Basist, and Mr Beethoven So, that is the background information.
So, last Saturday the 3rd, Mr BigD vocal attended our practice. He is like the wind� of our band, no one knows whether he is coming to the practice, when he will turn up and when he doesn�t. In other words, no accountability or whatsoever, he comes whenever he likes. Surprisingly, or not surprisingly, or Coincidentally, he appeared when we decided to record the song.
Back to my story, Drummer and I played the song for BigD and BigFu who weren�t here previous week. This conversation started :
BiGD: this song sounds like a children song , but the lyrics are quite sophiscated
Mr. Beethoven (who composed the song) humbly replied: Ya���
BigD: I feel that this song shouldn�t be arranged like this.
I (me) : So do you have a better suggestion? ( After our 2 hours practice last week when you were not here and you not knowing the song? )
BigD: Er, I am still thinking, I am still not familiar with the song
We continue to run the song so that the absentees have a hang of the song before any suggestion. *ahem After playing once or twice,
BigD: hmnn it sounds better, not as bad
I : It�s the same thing, we didn�t change the way we play (boiling )
We continued playing, but it�s boiling inside.. In the end, I stopped playing and said:
I would like to express my feeling. Everyone stopped and waited for me to speak.
� I am not very happy . BigD commented that the song sounds like a children song, I think you should respect Beethoven for composing the song.
BigD: He himself agreed as well
I: Still? He is just being kind, don�t you think you should pay some respect to him? You were not here last week when we practiced, and our arrangement was a group effort. Here you are, just arrived, not knowing anything, and started criticizing that this is not good enough, we are not doing right, it should be played the other way. My voice started to shake�.. Where were you when we practiced? You never replied our e-mails, we don�t even know you are in London or somewhere else. You only come whenever you feel like it � I burst into tears !!!! ;(( My eye liner and mascara smudged and I looked ugly ! To be honest, I have no idea why I was so emotional and I seriously didn�t expect myself to burst into tears. How embarrassing1 Initially, I was just meant to say it gently in a non-confrontational way, but alas.. look, it�s a pit now !
Then I looked at BigFu, who is our leader and said : � don�t you have anything to say?
Okay,ten minutes break for everyone.
I went into the loo and sobbed. When I came out, BigD was on his way out. He left.
We then sat down, they cracked some jokes to cheer me and leader said that BigD is going through a cocktail of personal problems. We prayed for him and some prayed for me. I felt heavy the wholeday, because I felt that I have upset someone, eventhough all the things I said were true.
BigFu said, in the future, I should pull him aside and talk to him privately, that is more biblical than not giving him face in front of the whole team. Well in the end, I msged BigD and apologised, he apologised for making me cry (eventhough that was involuntary movement) I was upset at myself, I felt ugly and realised I am so flawed with my impatience and outburst. I will definitely not do it ever again. I will do some deep breath and count from 1 to 100.
A lesson learnt� I need the renewed life in Christ to mould and shape me. I don�t know whether I did the right thing, but I meant well because I appreciate team work and I want a sincere relationship within the team.
Romans 7: 17
17But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! 18I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. 19I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. 20My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
21It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. 22I truly delight in God's commands, 23but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.
24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?
25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
That was Saturday morning, 11 am.
#2: Sunday morning 8 am
Albert�s tyre punctured. We were supposed to leave for church at 8 am, but he found out that his tyre went flat, called Teddy bear so that he can go to church early on albert�s behalf to sort out the PA system for the church. Prayed hard that morning, he managed to change the tyre in a short time.
#3: Penalty Charge Sunday 7pm
When albert went to collect his car to go home, something was stuck between the wipers : penalty charge. �50, reason? The car was parked on a zigzag white lines according to the police. BUT BUT two rules applied at the same time, as there was this yellow single line, (which we always park on Sunday,) and this zigzag ( where parking is prohibited) on the same spot!!! Aiya.. so �hak� (Cantonese for black, meaning unlucky) Albert is going to write to the council and argue , we as taxpayers, paid so much tax, and they can�t even draw lines on the road properly. Geram la.
Yellow line and white zigzag crossover, poor drawing !
#4: Gas leak Monday 7am
Woke up this morning as usual, switched on my argos, oil-filled radiator and then I heard some noise and oil was leaking from this radiator, and my whole room was filled with gas and it stunk.. I panicked !!! Opened all the windows, went downstairs, open main door, carried my radiator to the doorstep to air it. Spent the rest of the morning cleaning the oil stain on my carpet, breathing in foul smelling . Thank Gor for Albert, he came over with his STAIN DEVIL, sprayed it on the carpet, and he sent me to work in his car. I kept on sniffing myself for the rest of the day, to ensure that I don�t bring the odour into this open plan office.
*Sigh* such lovely radiator, keeps me warm in winter, YET, when it decided to break down, it just did, regardless of who are you. Unpredictable, just like life and human beings.
Was quite down for the rest of the day, been thinking a lot about my old friends and my old days in MC.
Went to East Finhcley to look at a room for rental, thinking of moving. Pleasant and cozy BUT it�s next to the track, each time the tube passess, my room will shake and I don� think I can sleep. Too bad, no chance for moving. Back to my room. Did more cleaning on the oil stain, bought a new Carpet Vanish, finished 2/3 of it. The room smelt better, but not 100 % yet. This is mentally stressful and physically exhausting. That is the definition of accident kua.
Vanish Carpet Spray which neutralises odour
Radiator next to my bed
cable was oily
I am glad it�s Tuesday, new day, new beginning, new possibilities. Violet reminded me tolook forward and move on....