Thursday, 18 July 2002


Can I live without friends? i can't, something in me will die. What does 'friend' means? what does it invovle? commitment? trust? Availability? How much? Can we test them? No, we can't. SO on what basis do you become close friend with another being? Intuition maybe, feelings, hobbies, prespective different yet similar. I think it's a mystery. Can't really pinpoint, it can be summarised as liking. You can't really explain it. That is why it's called 'the love between friends'.

What about expectations? Should we have expectations on our close friends? Should we expect them to be there for us when we need them most? Is that the basic attribute of friendship? If not, what is? Do i still love her/him (as a friend) the same even him/her betray my trust? Should i?

What have you noticed so far from the questions above? They have the same denominator: a big I in the center. It is not that i need support, i need encouragement , i need friends to make me feel good that make us in need of friendship. Yes, to say that the above is unneccssary is being hypocritical. But, i think the main purpose in pursuing a intimate friendship with another is the desire to give. The joy in us is so much that we can't contain it all by ourselves. We want to share our life with our friends. Above all, there is an overflowing of love in us that we desire to fulfill the needs of others. Friends shouls be an outlet. We should be the channel, not a draining pipe.To love our friends unconditionally, despite the hurt or betrayal or disappointment is difficult, but it is possible. It will be a lifelong learning process.

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