Friday, 26 April 2002


I was reading this book : the 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Convey, in the library and i was so excited about this paragraph that i decided to type out this particular paragraph. This is what i have been trying to suggest, but unfortunately, my writing skills limit my sharing of my thoughts with others.

"Look at my marriage. My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess i just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can I do?"

" The feeling isn't there anymore?
"That's right." what do you suggest?

"Love her"

"I told you , the feeling just isn't there anymore

"Love her"

"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."

"Then love her. If her feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her"

"But how do you love when you don't love?"

" My friend, love is a verb.Love- the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Emphatize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?"

Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. IF you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions.

In my plain english, i think that Love is what you DO, rather than solely equate with how you Feel .....Many people think that feelings motivate actions and behaviour, yes that is true ,but only partially. Many a times, when you start doing it regardless of your feelings, the feeling is actually the byproduct or rather fruits of your actions. Therefore, in following the latter model, the feelings are actually the reward of your actions. So...... LOVE IS A DECISION .. YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE.. AND THEREFORE YOU ACT IN LOVING WAYS.

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