Our First Meeting

they say seeing is believing. Although faith is not about seeing, i do
find that pregnancy is a journey of faith.

How do i know my babe still has heartbeat? i don't, i just have to
leave it in God's hand day by day.

They say from day 1 of pregnancy , the day you become a mum, you will
never stop worrying. They are so right. I do worry.

My stomach doesn't show at all. I don't even look pregnant. I can't
help looking around, my colleague baby is as old as mine, her stomach
was showing.

I still give my seat to others in the tube, although i am "qualify!
for the seat already.

finally 12th of May was here. That was my 16 week pregnancy. I was
looking forward to it. I was meeting my baby for the first time.

People normally have their scan at 12 weeks, but mine got delay with
the diagnosis , GP referral. etc. It was good though, i didn't have to
drink and inflate my bladder with water for the scan.

My first meeting wtih the baby was great. The photos was cleary taken
as "it" was in a perfect posture. I was thrilled. I had the photo in
my handbag and carried it around with me, like a proud mum, showing
everyone.

Well Done Babe, such a great photo!

Good, i have seen it, my baby is healthy, and its normal that my
stomach was still flat.

Quicker than i thought

i should have my baby scanned before 12 weeks to make sure everything
is formed etc.. but when i got an appointment to see my GP for the
first time since my pregnancy was confirmed, i was already 10 weeks
into my pregnancy.

As naive as i was, i thought i was only 7 weeks but i was actually 10
weeks. To me, that was good because i worry less when i was coming to
12 weeks. She asked me whether i wanted to do the test for down
syndrome, i said i didn't want to. I would keep the baby anyhow.

so she referred me to the hospital for the scan.

since then, i was counting down my days till i meet my baby.

something that i wasn't told about pregnancy

For the first few days after the news, i was still excited. After
that, when the reality of pregnancy set in, i was down.

Morning sickness... i heard about it, but not how bad it can be. Well
until it really happens to you. Just the feeling of always wanting to
vomit, and didn't know when is the real thing! They say morning.. mine
was whole day.

I wasn't working, i stayed at home alone and i got depressed. I was
eating every 2 hours. For the first few weeks, albert was home so he
cooked me delicious hong kong style egg sandwich and dinner. After
that, albert had to work full time to earn pampers money. I was
running out of ideas to cook, as i was eating so often and i wasn't
really enjoying the food that i cooked. Then i missed home as well.

Of the trend of my sickness, i tend to vomit at 11 pm, an hour before
i go to bed. So for me it was night sickness.

My ex-colleague told me it's good that i have sickness, it means baby
is healthy and is in there. That gave me quite a positive
encouragement.

i played the piano in the morning and sang and listened to some Mozart
as they say. Later i read that baby was too young to hear anything as
i was in my first trimester. I was bored as i wasn't used to staying
at home and not working.

Apart from that, i tend to worry about the health of the baby. A lot
of "what ifs"... as first trimester was the most critical period.
Albert was right, we just have to trust and pray and leave it to God.
Life and death is in the hand of God, and of course, the well being of
the baby is in the hand of God.

That was when i learnt the lesson of faith and trusting God. I just
have to leave it in God's hand.

One day i read this passage in Isaiah, although God was speaking to
Israel, i could feel how much God loved His people, and this passage
was speaking to me

Isaiah 46:3
3 "Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

4 Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

how i found out about "it"

it's quite interesting how it turns out. You just gotta believe it's
woman and instinct. This really speaks.

I work in pharmacy. So getting a pregnancy test wasn't difficult. I
went home and tested it in the morning. I could still remember the
chain of events clearly. The test was negative. For some reason, i
didn't believe the pregnancy test. That is very "unprofessional" since
as a pharmacist the pregnancy test is 99% accurate.

The devotional that morning was entitled "unexpected pregnancy" the
passage was about Mary and her pregnancy, having Jesus.

So i called GP for a slot. Surprisingly they have a free slot (very
unlikely usually) on the same day. I went to the GP. Even she didn't
think i was pregnant. She gave me a urine bottle anyway. She said if
there's no menstrual end of the week, send in my sample.

Okay, both the test and doctor said i am unlikely to get pregnant. For
some reason, i STill think i was.

That weekend i attended OMF conference. I was feeling nauseas. Albert
told my gastritis was back that's all. ALbert didn't think i was
pregnant.

When i came back from conference, i sent in a sample and WA LA .. the
test was positive. I was so thrilled! That day was 9th March, Monday.

Luke 1:46
"My soul glorifies the Lord
47and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
49for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name

love hate relationship with my job

After 3 years of moaning about my ex-cushy job, i cried on my last
day. What an irony. I miss my colleagues and the fun times we have. I
get along very well with my team as all of us around within the same
age range.

The most amazing part is that all the woman in my team are having
babies this year too! This makes me miss them even more now as i am
the only isolated one.

well of course i miss the money and of course the maternity leave!!!
and the community. I am at home alone few days a week, and i actually
enjoy working one or two days in a pharmacy nearby.

Sigh.. love hate relationship...

Wakey Wakey!

I took my 3 months sabbath (rest), not only i quit my permanent cushy
job in January, i also took a break from blogging for the past 3
months. I have been blogging since 2002. From my track record, i
realised when there is some major event in my life, i tend to be
silent from blogging. Then i will come out.

Looking back, not only i stay away from blogging, i also tend to
retreat from my normal social life. When i went out with Albert, i
didn't tell a lot of people and i didn't keep in touch with many as
well.. until the day i was planning for my wedding...

now i am back. No doubt the past three months and in the coming months
is definitely a big lifestyle change for me. I have not 100% get used
to it. I will have to think how i can enjoy the next 5 months before
someone turned my life upside down.

London Bridal Make up artist

i have booking this coming Saturday, which is good. Network is coming in.

If you have friends in LONDON getting married and looking for make up
artist, contact me at irenetanmy@gmail.com

i am happy =)